i had a broken guitar in the garage so i thought, it was a nice idea to add another level to our film , i took these photos while i was burning the guitar, there was a break in the weather so i could do it without smoking out the village!!
and before you brick yourself, i took health and safety into account, i had a bucket of water close, and i also had a hose just encase, the fire was not allowed to get out of control and no flammable fuels or aerosols were used!!
Be warned there are afew!!! 238. but I'm sure you'll get the idea!
If you could either leave comment or talk to me or we'll chat see which ones to use :) (ill get the vagrants younger pictures tomorrow night i think, there on the other computer so takes a bit more finding! )
Cheerio, Theodore x
6 comments:
The photobucket stuff doesn't work Theo.
For CRYING OUT LOUD , that took me ages, does it work if you click view all images?
Cardboard Dreams Feedback.
I've watched it several times now, with sound and without. It is infinitely better than v1.
Strengths
Anchorage with magazine via on screen text.
Music (is this badly drawn boy?) suits style and mood
Composition and light of vast majority of shots excellent.
Between 50-120 sec the range of shots is good
Excellent paralell editing of scarf and tie sequence.
The poem works really well, both in terms of compisition and delivery, helps reinforce preferred reading.
End text content 'fits' and adds to message.
Areas For Improvement.
Create your own institution (not c4)
Include credits (directed, makeup etc. This will mean you can tighten up the editing as the credits will take up a good few seconds)
Technically it's not a three minute wonder, create you own 'programme'
Paper cut (letter box to mat) too severe
Clip at 42 secs too staged (just the walk, seems like wait...action...walk)
Try to be more creative with your editing between business man and vagrant. As posted above the tie and scarf sequence works brilliantly, try and maintain the paralell feel throughout.
Walking transition too 'gimmicky' find a better way of transitioning between shots
Coffee pour doesn't work without a binary opposite
Multiple walks confusing, no clear indication of passage of time
Think about positioning phonebooth/phonecall sequence before Business man considers donation
End font too 24 Jack Baur
Check grammar
Without knowing Mr Ford's comments I don't know whether we disagree. I am sure that we would both agree that it has some real strengths and a much clearer narrative. Theo IS convincing in his role, a lot of the semiology works.
Well done. If it can be tidied up you should see a dramatic improvement.
Thanks, for your feedback, we're going to go and do some work now!
i've just watched the clip at 42 seconds, and i see what you mean by 'staged' so i'll change that.
As for the passage of time, i dont know how to execute this because we did change the tie each time, and we thought that transition worked to indicate this.
We'll try the phonebooth before too, and see how it works.
A few questions though, firstly there's not that many transition that we can actually use, so i dont really know how to improve this.
could we maybe add the day to the bottom of the clip, or would this just look silly?!
also, 24 Jack Baur? i have no idea what you're talking about.
Thank you very much for the feedback.
Caitlin.
Caitlin, keep the transitions simple, a plain old cut would do.
On screen text for the passage of time is a tricky one, the ties did hint at new days but it's not clear enough. Experiment, it could be weeks that pass rather than days, you could include it and think it makes it look cheesey but you've got to experiment.
RE 24 Jack Baur the font looks like the one used in 24
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p_i_baiPvc&feature=related
I do like this film, the suggestions are just suggestions, I'm just being my usual honest self but remember it's just one persons opinion
I'm out till half nine, if you could all post a link to any revisions on here that would help as I have work to do when I get back.
Well done.
Mr Smith
Cardboard Dream Evaluation feedback
I like this, it's a more 'technological approach to he task. Perhaps you could add a slide at the start to make it seem like a podcast?
If you could extract the audio and use it over still images from your blog and film that would make it more effective and help the examiner see exactly what you mean.
You do need to think about the level of detail you give as occasionally its too vague.
RE: 'Am I human Too?' poem clearly lends from 'choose life' so acknowledge this. Also it's an interesting piece of work and a different thing to have tried so be a bit arrogant and heap praise on yourselves for making such a brave choice. As you said dialogue can be amateurish, to be brave enough to put your own poetry in and have the result you have where it isn't cringeworthy needs celebrating.
The response to the question on ancillary task where you analyse your magazine advert is really good and is the standard you should aim for throughout.
Be more specific and honest with regards issues you encountered, it's not a sign of weakness to admit your fallible. Especially when you've overcome the issues so well and turned it into a strength by adapting your work.
Well done again.
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